Are you the right one for me?

Sometimes i really don't know should i trust you or not? Why must you always look at things the negative side... its so hard for us to communicate... you always says that you have poor memory that's why you forget the past... How to trust what you say?

It have always been my dream to go UK to study as age is catching up im trying and thinking of ways i can go UK to study asap but its very tough when i have somebody beside me not confidence about our relationship that threaten me that if i go abroad to study when i come back everything will change... He never spare a thought for me at all! He said im selfish that im leaving him alone and said that even he have plan to marry me now if i go abroad all these will change when im back!! This is the character of the Lim's family.

Curious why i said these? Well because his brother ex-gf went abroad to study for 5years and she only come back during at the end of the year sometimes when she coem back she don't even met up with him nor does she inform him. Now she is finally back and working in Singapore but guess what? They have already broke up. Case 2: his cousin's ex-bf went being send abroad to work the first year he went there and came back they broke up.

So he said if i really went overseas when i come back things will change! He have to see me very day just to keep the flame buring!! Hahaha!! What a joke! Than i ask him you saw your 6years ex-gf everyday why in the end you guys broke up? If she never two-time you will you guys still be togather till now? If after 8years than we met back and you are still with her will you break up and be with me? All these questions he can't answer me at all!! How can i trust what he says when he always have a way of saying all these things. After not long when we first met back after 8years, i ask him will he break up with the 6years ex-gf to bve with me. He siad don't know because by than they have been togather for so long. To me i just feel that he don't really have me in his heart all these years like i have him... After so long we met back i still feel that he is the right guy for me. But he is always so undecisive even till now!

Than i ask him what about your the otehr ex-gf huh? She stayed at your house for 6months plus, you get to see her everyday and night so why did the both or you break up? Why did you said you only treat her as a sister? Your relationship should be stronger since that the both of you a have been seeing each otehr everyday. He cant answer all these questions of mine. That time at the salon where she is working she ask him whether is she beautiful he said okie lor. He told me he never find him beautiful found her independant that why he was with him... Don't you find what he said is very funny? I don't know what he says is telling the truth at all...

I mention to him if you really have the thought that i will be the right one for you whether i go abroad to study for 1year or 6mths it won't change this fact at all... You gave me the feeling taht you are just gulity and appreciate what i ahve done for you therefore, you have the thought to marry me! You don't love me sincerely and truely you are just used to having me around your side that's all.... I don't feel your love for me no matter how many times you message me and tell me this. We are justed the same people always being bullied at home that why you have chosen me to be the one. I want to go abroad to study jsut to prove myself worng that you are not how i think you are! But even i manage to leave i alreadu have all these problems from you!

Than you will come and say that when you said want to become an air steward i disagree and you never ask again! But i remember that i said okie with you agreeing only working for 18mths not for the rest of your life! When you were at camp reservist i even kept reminding you to ask your friend whether is there an opening and can he bring you in! Don't come and says that i disagree to it! I disagree to you wokrign as it for the rest opf your life as it won't get you anywhere far in life exepect for seeing the rest of the world!! You always don't know how to think i have to think for you! I'm sick and tired of keep thinking for you! I'm not your mum! You like people to think for you go and continue to be your mummy's boy!

Than you tell me next that you also have thought of going abroad to study but look at yourself!! Yes you have thought!! You have thought of almost everything that im want to do!! But you have no action at all!! When i met you back that time you were not doing anything at all for the past 3years!! All you have was a thought!! A thought to study accounts but your mum said no so you never studied. Untill i met you and encourage you than we studied togather and help you to enrol for the 'O' level exam! But what's your thought? Yes i have the thought to study but you never went atteempt to sit for the paper! Ask you to study for your exam you just scolded me saying that ask me to stop reminding you!! All your haed have is just to play jackpot and billard everyday!! That's what in your mind!!

Tell me what should i believe you in? When your admired ask you so mi going to be your last and only one. Without saying a confirm yes you jsut said 90% yes and saying that because of mine temper and funny character so you reserve the 10%! Look you also have funny character! I'm trying to get used to as well! You don't love me whole heartly at all!Yes i agree with everybody that you have change alot for me and you are a nice guy... But so what when you can't even give me the most simple thing!? Trust.... go think for yourself how many things have you bluff and try and twist and turn the story around... Go think for yourself... Everybody says you are smart and yes you know how to use it to twist and turn things around for me!! So trust for you is zero....

I'm not going to wait for my kids to help me fufilled this wish of mine! I will fufill mine own wish! If when i coem back things change for the worst like you have said at laest it showed me that i know between you and me its jsut gulity and you never really truely loved me before! I don't wish that when i married you than found out all these! Right guy for me? Well daddy and everybody else... Guess maybe you are all wrong.... Let's just wait and see for sure i will go abroad no mattered what i dont wish to let anymore guys affected my whole life and live old to regret wit all!